1.

Sadie and Benny were playing in the bathtub. Benny was pretending to give the bubbles voices and they were talking to her and playing with her. This all went along fine until she looked up at me suddenly, stricken with fear, and said:

"Mommy, do NOT put these bubbles down the DRAIN because they might DIE!"

So, we left them in the tub. I emptied it later.

2.

We were walking back to the van after six hour of hiking around Colonial Williamsburg absorbing historical information. I had no idea where I had left the van. So I said I was going to let the van find us, and I was clicking the keys to lock it so it would beep. Sadie, stomping along earnestly, said:

"Mommy, do NOT make the van find us because I will find the van all by myself I will show YOU where it is and THAT is the end of my tiny little story."

3.

Benny and Sadie were playing and Benny was fighting the evil Shawan, his imaginary nemesis, and Benny said that Sadie had to help him fight Shawan, or else he (Benny) would die! And Sadie said:

"Benny, you know, deep down in my heart, I will never let that happen!"

4.

This morning when Dan got back from his bike ride, we went to IHOP because the cleaning ladies were in the house and the children were uncleaning whatever they cleaned, the minute the cleaned it.

Sadie: I think we should go to Dairy Queen, because I'm really hungry for ice cream!
Me: Wow, really?
Sadie: And then I am also very, very hungry for fries.
Dan: So you want to stop at Dairy Queen and McDonald's, on our way to IHOP?
Sadie: YES!
Dan: That sounds like a lot of restaurants for a tiny little girl who doesn't eat anything.
Sadie: Yes, but I have a BIG GINORMOUS tummy!

Then we went to IHOP and she ate about 1/8th of a pancake. Silly girl.

Labels: conversations, sadie

Me

I am completely creeped out by the lady on the JC Penney ad who says, "Everything in my head, in your hands." It just presents an awful image. A gooey image.

Benny

Benny: Mom, what is confetti?
Me: Oh, you know, it's little torn up paper and stuff.
Benny: Yes, I know, but what is confetti for?
Me: It's for, well, it falls out of the ceiling. Or gets shot out of cannons. It makes things more festive. When something exciting happens.
Benny: Why does it fall out of ceilings?
(Pause. Why *does* it fall out of ceilings?)
Me: I think we better ask Dad what confetti is for. Maybe he has a good answer about that.
(At this point, I'm completely aghast that I have fallen back on Dad already, on a confetti question. I didn't even make it through eight years.)
Benny: I think I might have a good answer.
Me: Oh? What's that?
Benny: People like to catch things. Maybe it's exciting for people to try and catch confetti?
(And this seems like as plausible an answer as any, right?)
Me: That must be it.

Sadie

Every year when we go down to South Carolina we visit a little town called McClellansville. In this little fishing village is an awesome screen-door-bangin' type of seafood restaurant that we like, and also a little cute store that has awesome, puppets by Folkmanis. Over the years we have collected several -- they are all beloved by my children. They love them as puppets but also as favorite stuffed animals.

Folkmanis puppets are the best puppets I have ever seen -- they move in very natural, realistic ways, and they just look -- real. Even the llama. They are magical and delightful. Good detail, sturdy, and each one comes with a little story on the tag. We have the rat, the cat, the jack rabbit, and of course the llama. Here is a picture of Sadie playing tea party with these puppets. I had to take about forty pictures of this charming little scene, but here is just one:



Okay, just one more, to show the puppets a little better:

Labels: conversations, folkmanis, puppets

Sadie was "reading" the Disneyfied version of Peter Pan with the Disneyfied illustrations. Everything she "reads" begins with the phrase, "Yesternight, AFTERNOON!" and then goes on into madness from there. So tonight Sadie was pondering the picture of Wendy, with her lovely brown hair.

Sadie: (sagging back hopelessly against the pillow) Mommy, I wish that I would have BWOWN hair!
Me: Sadie, your hair is the most beautiful color of all!
Sadie: And what about Benny's?
Me: Benny's is the same color as yours. You both have the very most beautiful hair ever.
Sadie: What about yours?
Me: Well, mine is brown.
Sadie: (sagging back hopelessly against the pillow once more) Oh NO! Now I'm sad for you, you don't have pwetty hair!
Me: It's okay, I have you and Benny to look at. I don't need pretty hair.
Sadie: (pause, clearly committed to dragging a tragedy out of the situation in some way) Mommy, *I* don't want to look at your bwown hair!

It's a good thing my husband still thinks I'm beautiful, bwown hair notwithstanding. And, may I point out, this is the first time my hair has been its natural color in over 15 years, and this is what happens! I horrify my three-year-old!

Labels: conversations, sadie

Sadie: Boger. Boger! Is that funny Benny?
Benny: No, Sadie. It's not funny.
Sadie: What do you want, Benny?
Benny: I want you to be nice and polite, just like Mother and Father, we all want you to be nice and stop saying bad words like Boger.
Sadie: What if I say... (MOMMY WHAT DO I WANT TO SAY?)
Me: Well, what do you want to say?
Sadie: SOMETHING PONITE LIKE MAY I PLEASE.
Me: You could say "May I please say Boger?"
Sadie: How 'bout DEVASTATE. Should I say devastate, Benny?
Benny: Yes. That is a nice, polite word. Good girl.

Devastate is the word I make them say instead of "kill" because I am a liberal owl-hugging communist earth-worshipper.

Labels: conversations